Monday, February 27, 2012

Can Alex Live Free or Diet?

By Pam and Carol

 Tonight is another new episode of Hawaii Five 0, and no doubt the buzz will continue about Alex O’Loughlin’s leaner look.  We, here at The Press, noticed a change but are quite confident that Alex is level headed enough to keep himself in good condition to handle his grueling schedule.  It’s that level head we admire so much. 

We know Alex would never diet to merely lose weight without building muscle to stay strong and healthy.  But if he was to be that reckless, here are some diets we thought he could try.

Putrisystem – go to the worst restaurant in town and get sick smelling their putrid food.

The Mid 30s Diet - when the temp hits the mid 30s you can eat (no cheating by moving to a colder climate).

The Warrentea Diet - if you meat a guy named Warren, invite him to tea. You're allowed 1 crumpet.

Fatkins – put pictures up of your not so thin relatives to remind you what you COULD look like.

The GPS Diet - if you get lost somewhere, you can eat foods that begin with the letters G, P or S.

The Go Green Diet - eat anything that makes you turn green and causes vomiting. 

The Facebook Diet - have a buddy smack you in the face with a book every time he sees you eat something you're not supposed to.

The Twitter Diet – get a Twitter account and answer all the fans (Alex won’t be able to stop to eat…ever).

No White Foods Diet - successful when used in conjunction with Go green Diet, No Brown Foods Diet, No Red Foods Diet, etc.

Skinny Bitch Diet - hire a skinny bitch to follow you around and make rude comments about your food choices.

Tapeworm Diet - self explanatory (eeeeww).

Wait Watchers - eat normally and wait and see what happens.

We make light of this subject, but the bottom line is

We love you, man.


  1. You've reached a new all time low in your commentary.

    1. This isn't commentary. It's making light of a subject that has become far too serious.

  2. Better put a trademark on the T-Shirt quick, otherwise a certain sandwich chain might start printing them up. Oh, and whilst I'm here.... I'll have a foot-long HERWAY please. ;-)

  3. Yeah, not all.

  4. the last paragraph should be in much much bigger letters! ALEX!! WE LOVE YOU!

  5. Pam & Carol
    This article actually made me feel like you are back to what you do best - seeing the lighter side of things. (just like our MAN himself!!) Really enjoyed it,thanks!