Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Fatherhood and Family

by carol

When a man is able to talk about his love for his children and his family, it can move me to tears. OK, I cry easily ... like when a Kodak commercial is on TV.  But hearing a guy articulate his feelings about anything (besides sports) is great and makes me stop and appreciate that vulnerability and honesty.

Alex O'Loughlin is a father, son, brother and he also happens to act. I think he'll be a famous actor some day.  But based on what he has said below, I already believe he is a great father, son, brother and family man.

“I have my life and I have my family, which mean the world to me."

“My family is extremely supportive. They are very forward-thinking, good parents. They're great. I think most parents have preconceived, unrealistic hopes for their children but, children are people and they'll find what they want to do.”

"Mum's a musician. She plays piano and has a beautiful voice, so she understands the creative need.  Mum lights up when she sees me. Her cheeks go pink - she's all over me, pulling my hair, pinching my cheeks."

“My mom, my dad and my grandparents have always taught me the importance of giving. It’s a real principle in our family.”

“I remember everything my grandfather taught me about the work ethic before he died. He was brought up out in the bush and his advice was 'put your head down and keep working, son, and you'll get what's coming to you'. You just push through.”

"I miss my family, you know. I miss kind of getting up and just sort of plunking down to the cafe, your local sort of cafe, and grabbing The Sydney Morning Herald and having a good coffee and a little eggs and bacon.”

“I have a son. I kinda keep him out of the press. That’s how we do it. But the joy of fatherhood, it’s been the greatest gift. [Fatherhood] was some time ago for me, but in the future, I’d love to have a mini footy team. You know, seven-a-side or something.  No, not seven! I reckon a couple of kids would be great, but I haven’t met anyone.”

“It’s true, I have a son, Saxon, who’s already 12. I am raising him alone and I had to grow up fast too…my son is the most beautiful thing that ever happened in my life”

…about being a father and alone?
“I usually don’t talk about this, I don’t want to expose my child, but I can say that a child is the only thing that you love more than yourself and that this feeling moves you to a different place. The experience is unparalleled. No sex, no work, no money can do so much.  The moments you share with your son, just you and him, gets you to a level of understanding that allows you to put everything into perspective.”

Does your son ever ask you to find a wife?
“My son? No, but the other day we were talking. He’s now in the phase when he's beginning to look at girls in a different way and so I asked him if there was one he liked best. He looked at me and said:  ‘What about you, dad? Get a girlfriend...’ He wants to see me happy and I think he has been seeing me as a lone man for a long time. Maybe he misses a female presence and the family dynamic that comes from that. I can give him a lot, but not what a woman could give him.  I am certain I will get married one day and when I do it has to be right for Saxton too."

"I feel like I'm always away from my family. I spend more money on travel than anything else, flying around the world to see the people I love or bringing them to me. We (Alex and Saxon) both travel back and forth quite a bit, so we do spend a lot of time with each other.  Sometimes I wish I had become a banker or a builder to keep me in one spot."  
“I'm very independent and I find it difficult to find trust in the fact that I might be able to make something work with one person. Times are different now, you know? In my grandfather and grandmother's generation, forever meant forever. It doesn't seem like forever exists anymore. It seems like people are sort of fickle in love and in marriage and so many marriages end up in divorce, so it was nice to play a guy (Stan in The Back-Up Plan) who was so clear in his resolve. For the most part, he was like, ‘Hey listen, this is how I feel, I love you, I'm going to show up, and I'm going to participate and I'm not going to go anywhere and I need you to do the same if this is going to work.’ I guess it's the kind of guy I'd like to be.”

“Something I did relate to was the shock for a young man hearing the woman he is involved with is pregnant and the moment when Stan really comes to terms with it, and especially when he’s there and reading to (the twins) and that young man becoming a young father.”

“When you have kids, you [ask yourself], ‘when I die, what’s important?’ [It’s] not your Rolex or your Louboutins.  It’s that your kids are ok, that your family is ok."


  1. Of all the things I love about Alex.THIS is what I love the most. His love of his son and family,his Ozzie down to Earth roots and the way he has his priorities sorted. LOVELY POST

  2. Damn it now you made me cry... thanks for that ;)
    he unbelievable. I can't even describe how much I want to meet a man like this. Down to earth, family has priorities... where are those men?
    it is a lovely post. thank you so much!

  3. I have seen many times how becoming a father can change a man mostly for the better. Stuckup guys become more relaxed, playboys become family men..... (unfortunately it does not always happen).I've got a feeling that becoming a father at such a relatively young age, made Alex turn a corner to become the man we all love and adore.